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MrsRuss0114
MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 214
Experience:  B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
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hi, i have known a guy for 8 years and we have been realy close

Customer Question

hi, i have known a guy for 8 years and we have been realy close freinds but we have a compicated relationship. he was my girlfrieds (at the time) best friend. when me and my girlfriend split up me and this guy stayed in contact. over the years he has called me in the midle of the night just to talk, i had a missed call from him one valentines day when he knew i was away with my partner, when i called him back he said he only wanted a chat. he walks me home if we see each other on a night out and we always flirt its just the way we are with each other. He kissed me about 6 years ago and ever since we have been put in situations where we could have slept together, but one of us always stops it. at first i thought this was because i wanted a relationship with him and he only wanted a one night stand but recently he has contacted me and told me that he was thinking about me in a sexual way when i wasnt with him. he has never done this before. he contacts me on the rare occasion more recently when he has been with his siblings - i put this down to him reminissing?! he currently has a partner and was contacting me whilst she was with him. this is the first time he has openly admitted feelings for me whilst i have not been with him we joke about sleeping together but last time he contacted me was different. we arranged to meet but he bailed and has not been in contact since. i am so confused by our relationship. in the past he has been engaged and when he has been on the phone with me his partner knocked on their bedroom door to ask permission to enter because she knew he was on the phone to me. he has called me to go and stay at his as a favour, i arrived and we chatted for an hour in the kitchen and when i asked why i was there he told me when an ex had turned up on the door step and his girlfriend was not able to go round herself to keep an eye on him. his ex was in another room and had been for a full hour. a mutual friend of ours told me that although me and this guy flirt it is a different relationship that he has had with anyone else and strangers actually ask if we are together when they see us. this mutual friend has known this guy longer than i have am i to think that this guy does want to be with me or is he playing games? please help me! i also think yoiu should know that this guy offered to help me and my girlfriend had children when we were together. he told all of his girlfriends he had within the time me and my girlfriend were together that he was doing this and i found out recently he also told the person he was with after me and my girlfriend split up that he was going to help me have children. i dont understand this?! he also stopped talking to my ex girlfriend (his best friend) after we split up again something i only recently learned. we have a lot of history which is why i think im so confused. what does he want from me?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  MrsRuss0114 replied 3 years ago.
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MrsRuss0114
MrsRuss0114
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B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.