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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hi this is kind of more like an ex relationship question actually.

Resolved Question:

Hi this is kind of more like an ex relationship question actually. I have been in a 1 year online relationship but my girlfriend broke up with me today. Problem is I live in the UK and she lives in the USA and we had never met, we were looking at ways of how we could meet up and be together including plans for me to see her every so often but she told me she wants someone who is independent and doesnt want me to put my life on hold because of her which I can understand. It probably sounds strange but we had dreams and I certainly had these dreams for this whole year of her being the one and spending the rest of my life with her. Because of the fact she lives in america the only way we could really live together, because she couldnt move away from her family, was to got married and for me to live over there but she couldnt commit to that, so right now she dont want a relationship. She told me she loves me and still wants to stay in contact with me and be friends with me because she doesnt want to never speak to me again because she will miss me too much. It hurts even more knowing that she feels the same way as me yet we can never be together, I know it will take time but how I can get over this heartbreak?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You will get over the heartache just not today. The risk in a long distance or online relationship is that you develop feelings and the logistics doesn't work out. You unfortunately must accept that the moves and changes would just be too much. I think that this would be easier if there was no further contact. Speaking or writing keeps the door of hope ajar and the desire to pursue the relationship. It also results in you missing the relationship more. I think you would be better off focusing on resolving your feelings and then moving on. I don't know if you can do that speaking. It isn't just about what she wants but what is best for you too. Do what you feel is best



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