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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1817
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Ive been seeing this guy for 5 mos now, he is divorced with

Customer Question

I've been seeing this guy for 5 mos now, he is divorced with 3 girls, which one he takes full time care of . He is really busy with work right now too. I'm a joker at heart as he is. So last friday I was giving him a hard time and he text back that he was sorry and he was spending the day with is daughter cause it was her last day of school. I didn't reply, because I respect his time with his girls. Later that evening, he text me, "no response huh? I think we need to talk". So I text back "call me" He never did so I tried him and he turned off his phone. I tried to call and text and he will not answer me, I care about him alot and would like to see where this could go. I'm attracted to him in so many ways and he has said the same to me. I want to know how to I get him to talk to me and what do I do next.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You have been seeing him for 5 months, he is divorced with three girls. What happened was he felt bad that he couldn't spend time with you because it was his daughters last day of school. That is why he said sorry. When you didn't respond, he thought you were upset over this, so he started thinking that you were upset. He didn't want to upset you and maybe he even wanted you to come along. This might something he worries about. He knows he has three children and he needs you to be understanding because there are always going to be things that come up being a parent. He might feel that you will get upset when he has to do these things. He wants you to understand that he is a father. But you are understanding of that and that is why you did not respond, but he thought you were upset and was not talking too him, so he got scared. He was protecting himself from getting hurt. He is going to be worried that you will leave. He needs to be reassured that you are here and that you are understanding. Right now I would not even explain yourself too him. GIve him time he will contact you once he realizes you were not ignoring him and were not upset. If you have anymore question I will be happy to answer.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1817
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I have told him that I understand about him being a dad and his work being demanding. I just don't understand, why he said lets talk and then ignores me. So if he doesn't contact me, then what do I do, how long do I wait...

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
the last thing i left him in a message was, I'm sorry for all the troubles I have caused, didn't mean to do so. I didn't want things to work out this way, it gives me time to reflect on what i want. my happines is very important to me as is yours. I am attracted to you and care alot about you. It takes alot of patience, courage and selflessness to make this work. Hope you understand and know that you are always welcome to get a hold of me. was that wrong???
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
What happens if he don't respond and just leaves it like this
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
What magic words can I use to compel him to talk to me and want to see me again. I want to intrigue him again.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Give some key phrases to say to compel him to talk to me.

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
So its been over a week and he hasn't called. I tried calling him but he wouldn't answer, so I left a little message about talking? So now what? Is he done with me, if so why not say so. I don't like that. Thats not mature.
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I sent a text to him with the things you suggested and still no answer. I feel the silence and the avoidance means he's done with me. Is this true?
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
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