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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hi, Im feeling alot of pain at the moment, I met this man

Customer Question

Hi, I'm feeling alot of pain at the moment, I met this man on a dating website, I was immediately attracted to him and slept with him the second time I saw him, he was quite new out of a relationship and obviously still feeling some pain. He seemed to be very open about his feelings but also kept contradicting himself alot. I saw him another few times and he said a couple of times that there was no chemistry between us but his actions told me otherwise, I suggested we just have a physical relationship and acted very aloof not contacting him, he would call me and we would go to eachothers houses, listen to some music etc and then have sex, he would still make comments about our 'thing' was just sexual and he would talk about other women he was meeting up with, I acted like this didn't bother me at all but inside it was crucifying me, I thought he was trying to arouse jealousy in me, I don't understand his actions eg cuddling me in bed asking me if I am faithful in relationships, asking to meet up when we wouldn't be having sex etc seemed like he had feelings for me but he always said he didn't, I thought he was playing mind games so went along with it hoping he would crack and we would be together, I thought we were both insecure and I was just being patient, the upshot is I spent friday night with him, I said I was going home after we had sex, he made it clear he wanted me to stay so I did, sunday morning I get a text saying 'Ive met someone I'm really happy with and I hope we can be friends' I then called him to confess how I really felt and left a message, this was 4 days ago and I haven't heard anything back, I'm constantly trying to suss out what's going on in his mind and its driving me crazy, what do u think??
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

You should always be honest about your feelings in a relationship regardless of what else is going on. If you aren't then you can't be upset when it goes wrong. He took you up on the idea that you two had a physical relationship and then he met someone who wanted more than a physical relationship. By not disclosing he saw more potential in the other relationship or he just used you for sex. Either way he didn't have all the information. It could be that he played games and you should be glad it's over. I would tell you to move on at this point.


Try to find another way to relate to men. You probably reacted to the uncertainty he was creating but for the future dont allow a guy to take you away from being an honest up front person. He could just be a jerk and you are benefitting in the end. A guy doesn't meet one women for sex and another brand new woman the next day and commit to her. That leads me to believe that he was doing this already. Let this go. You aren't in love yet



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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
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