This wasn't very helpful - I am concerned about the affect of any of this on my children - I don't see my actions as being 'overwhelminly protective' as you put it. I believe putting my children first would make me a good mother.
I am happy to put dating on hold if the children will be negatively affected by it - as for being unfair to a potential date - they are not my priority - my children are. You have made no reference to how children of this age could be affected - if at all?
And you have not helped at all regarding their father coming to visit. Perhaps you are not the right person to help me at this time.
I am also concerned that you do not know how to spell paedophile.