It sounds like there is a complete breakdown of communication on both of your parts. Emotions are a hard thing to convey when two people do not see eye to eye. You both are sending mixed messages. You say you care but you don't originally want to hug her. This may be a symptom of some underlying feelings. Or she may be misinterpreting some physical actions on your part due to her perception that you don't care. There may be projecting happening both ways. The best way to resolve this is through marriage counseling where you can explore this in a neutral environment. Also get Mars and Venus Together Forever which also talks about communication and intimacy.
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