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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am currently working on a relationship with this guy, we

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I am currently working on a relationship with this guy, we are good friends, but im confused, he sends me gifts, hes very supportive of my pregnancy, we can talk about anything, we never argue and when we disagree we are able to talk things out, today he told me I have all of the qualities of a wife, the wife he wants to have in his life he also said that he loved me but wasnt sure if he is completely in love with me, what should I do in terms of letting him know i think we are able to be together now and work things out?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
Sorry for the delay. Tell him what you just told me . Honesty starts by saying the words. If you want to be together relay that to him. It sounds like he is thinking of the relationship in a positive way. Find a quiet time to discuss the relationship and put your feelings out there. He will let you know how he feels about that. Develop ground rules like not seeing other people and start off with open communication.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I have tried communicating this to him, and he still talks to other people, we have had this conversation a million times, and I kind of feel that I am wasting my time, he tells me not to wait for him, or he doesnt know whats going to happen to him due to him being new to the army, and he tells me when he gets to his duty station he is going to meet girls, in my opinon I dont think he honestly wants to be with me i think he likes the idea of starting a family with my son and I.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
If he is saying there are women on base, let it go. He is giving you a hint. Move on and find someone ready for a relationship. He sounds like he is making excuses. Don't talk just move on
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i understand its just soo confusing because he says that things feel so right between us, i guess the biggest hint that he gave me was i love you, but im not sure if im in love with you, i dont want to move and it later on comes back a mistake. I dont understand why he is dragging me along if he doesnt want to be with me.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
He does want to be with you. He doesn't want to commit to you. I don't know if I am in love with you means something is lacking and I am having commitment issues. If you make a mistake then so be it. But how can you make a mistake when you don't have someone's heart. You have to take chances or you will always stay stuck. Chances may bring happiness.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thats the part that i dont understand why is he trying to be a father to my son and sending me gifts and telling me things as if we are going to be together if he doesnt want to commit, my son isnt even born yet and i refuse to have him around alot of different guys, we literally talk everyday, i kind of feel like im a charity case to him because the father of my child isnt around but thats off the subject, i was going to give it one more shot and tell him either we are going to be together or we are not, we already stepped over the friendship boundary.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
That's true. If you want to go back remember that things will be the same. That hasn't changed. He is trying to get back in and he still won't be committed. If you are thinking about another shot keep in mind that you need a caring person. Don't settle because you are pregnant or any other reason. Be careful. There is a tendency to settle for what is familiar
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