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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have a best friend who is gay and we av been sleeping together

Customer Question

I have a best friend who is gay and we av been sleeping together for 5yrs. We live 2ghter for about 3. we now hav a 9months old son. We dont sleep 2ghter anymore and fight like crazy. We basically live like a married couple. He nor I have dated for seen anyone since we met. About 5 days ago he we got into a tif and said he was moving out.. he treaten that many times but he hasnt been home in days. I dnt want a relationship with him I want our friendshipo basck and I want him to live any see his son grow up. Im devisated and I want him home. what do I do???/
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
are you a same sex couple
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
No I am a female and he is a gay male. We meet each other 5yrs ago. We have been sleeping with each other from day 1. But since our son has been born we do nothing but fight. He cant seem to sacrifiys partying on weekends and its taking a toll on him. He answer to everythg wrong in life is to run away from it. He loves his son very much and is a good Dad. I told him please not to leave we can work out our problems. Id give him his own room and he can do his own thing, If he moves out h will hardly be able to see him, He does not drive and works all week. Basicaly he cant make it on his own. I dont want a relationship from him I want my best friend back and I made that clear to him. He is staying with his brother and sis-in-law who I feel are perswadind him to leave here.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

The deciding factor for wanting your "friend" back is to have him make a decision. You cant make the situation work by yourself. That seems to be what you want to do. No one can make him leave but they could have persuaded him. He is his own person in the end. If you can communicate lay out your argument. Friends only. Find out his feelings on this. You may be able to orchestrate this transition. However he has to agree. If you don't hear you may have to let it go for awhile. He is still parent and needs to be responsible. Find out the terms he can deal with and find a compromise. Moving back is all his decision

 

 

 

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Ok. He wants to come here tonight so he see his son. Said we will talk and we said to each other we miss each other. We are not on fighting terms and this is now 6days he hasnt been home. Said he needs time to think. I dont want tobe pushy when he gets here. But its killing me I need some answers. What do I do?
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
Be honest. Not needy. Tell him that this separation is very difficult and you need to know what he would like to do. Ask him to share what is going on and where he sees this going. Make sure you let him know this is making you very crazy and what he feels his remedy for this situation is. It will tell you where you stand.

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