I am sorry you have so much pain. Loosing him and the baby must be so painful for you. From what you describe it sounds like he wanted a sexual partner but not a relationship. You need to work on developing more self confidence and self esteem so you can attract someone who can value the whole you not just your body. Do you know how to learn to think more highly of your self? Have you made progress in this area as you have matured or are you about the same as 10 years ago?
You have a lot more to offer and to receive than what you are settling for.
If you want some help from me on this issue click 'Accept' and send a reply with your answers to the questions above.