Thanks for reaching out to me here at Just Answer. I think I can provide some guidance as I have worked with others in similar situations
It seems you are in quite a situation and for some reason she has gotten law enforcement involved. She either feels scared of you for some reason (real or imagined) or she is using the law as a weapon against you. Either way it's not good for you.
Here is what has worked for others in your situation.... have one of her friends or family members that you trust deliver the flowers and note - or in your case maybe a fellow church member to this. You could also have the florist deliver the flowers (some of my clients have done this and it has worked out very well).
This way, you avoid (or at least minimize) the possibility of the problems you mentioned and you still accomplish the goal you stated you wanted.
If she refuses, then you might just as well get ready for the next step - moving on with your life. In this case, you might do well to ask one of her friends about getting your things or maybe hiring an attorney to take care of the car and the lease you mentioned. Remember, you have rights too.