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Kristin
Kristin, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience:  Psychotherapist and Relationships Expert with 11+ years exp. Dating, Relationships, Marriage.
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Hi. I am a 40 year old man. I am coping with adifficult relationship.

Customer Question

Hi. I am a 40 year old man. I am coping with adifficult relationship. Which we are calling open at this point. In the last weekend in a 3 day seminar I met a wonderful woman 3 years older than myself. I Felt we hit it off great, lots of flirting thru text. She even asked me to a dinner and insisted on paying for it. She played with my mind the next night(Never accepting a second dinner for the reason of not trusting herself around me and drinks, and wanting to be good????). But also refusing to speak on the phone, just texting.
The third day she asked me thru text, howcome I did not call her for a night cap? That evening we met for drinks and kissed, shared a taxi to the airport. She even texted me several times after we said goodbye about how much she enjoyed the kiss.
later that week I texted her twice and got no responce.
Now I remmember that during our conversations she did mention that texting is better since when you get home you can just erase it and its all gone. ALso at tome point she did mention that what stays in (that city) must stay at that city.
So Now I feel odd, my therapist believes that she was prbably married like the girl in the movie (Up in the air). Thats why she could just so easily shut it off. He also wants me to start back up on relationship therapy for the forth time (Session 3o something) which my significant other refuses to go!!!!
But I am going crazy I really felt something with this new person that I have not felt since College. My therapist made me delete her info out of my phone but I do remmember her email. Also I know that she has lied to me about the location of her work. But I never mentioned anything trying to be respectfull.
I need to know what to do. Should I email her? Should I forget it? If I email her after she did not respond to two texts will I be considered a stocker?
please help I'm really tired and no matter how many times I try to explain to weman that I am only smart in my Job (successfull Professional) not in reading womens mind and ask them to please aid me in undrestanding them. I just get played with.
Please advise.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 3 years ago.

Cathy :

Hi and thanks for writing JA

Cathy :

how are you holding up tonight?

Customer:

ok, I need to know what to do

Cathy :

well nice to see you

Cathy :

how are you tonight?

Cathy :

hi can you read my posts?

Cathy :

I can see my customer online but he is not able to see my responses

Cathy :

cannot respond to my test responses

Customer:

I can not see your responce I only see the disclaimer

Cathy :

okay let me report this as a tech problem and we will see what we can do

Cathy :

okay customer do not worry we are having a tech problem here

Cathy :

I asked you how you were

Customer:

can you email me your responce

Cathy :

and you could not see it

Cathy :

which is our way of testing the program

Cathy :

so let me report this as a tech problem

Cathy :

I have reported that you are not able to read the scrolling responses here

Cathy :

and someone will be in touch with you soon.

Cathy :

best wishes.

Customer:

can you email me the respce

Customer:

u there?

Customer:

anyone there?

Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Hello and thank you for your question.

 

It sounds very likely that this other woman is married or otherwise attached, which is why she wanted to text only, so she could erase any evidence. This is very likely why she is not responding to your texts now that she is back home.

Since she said she only likes to correspond via text, I would not email her or call her. You can text her maybe one more time and ask her why she is not responding to you, or if she wants you to stop texting her. If she does not respond to that text, then I would stop altogether.

You would not be considered a stalker if you texted her just one more time, by the way.

I would try to forget about her. It was just a flirtation and one kiss, and she is more than likely attached and not available for any kind of relationship.

As for relationship counseling for you, that would depend on if you feel your primary relationship needs strengthening. If you two have agreed to an open relationship and are both okay with that, then if that works for you, that is only your business. If one of you however is not 100% okay with it, then yes relationship counseling would be a really good idea, or if there is anything else you might need to address.

Best wishes. Please click ACCEPT button so I'm credited for my help today. Also, feel free to respond to me here, even after clicking ACCEPT. Thank you,

Kristin, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience: Psychotherapist and Relationships Expert with 11+ years exp. Dating, Relationships, Marriage.
Kristin and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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