Thanks for contacting Just Answer - let's see if we can make some progress on this issue
You are in a tough spot to say the least. You care for your boyfriend and that is wonderful. I think there are ways to reconcile, but you also deserve respect - if your not careful, you will end up being a doormat.
I am big on forgiveness - I understand that you may not want to think about forgiving her, however and this is important........... forgiving her doesn't mean you accept what she did. If you take the initiative to forgive her, you can to it on the right terms. You tell her that you forgive her, but you were hurt and you will not accept that again - set your boundaries
I think that is really good advice.....I'm going to try to connect to this idea of forgiveness. It seems like that may actually "set me free" of this weight on me and the relationship. Thank you
You can also make sure your boyfriend understands your position. And I would also suggest one more thing... given you situation, I would steer clear of your boyfriends finances and with his kids. Other than speaking with him and supporting him through times like this. You run the very serious risk of ending up in a no win situation.
Thanks again for reaching out and I'm hoping things go well. If my efforts have been helpful, please don't forget to click on the accept button - if not it's OK, just let me know how it goes. All my best :)