You both need to really have communication in your marriage. You have been married for 37 years, but you are having problems that need to be addressed. Some times in marriage you don't realize the other person has a problem in the marriage until it is spoken. Your wife might not even know you feel this way. You need to talk to her about it. You haven't had sex in eight years and that is something that should of been talked about because some times women lose their sex drive for various reason. I see that you have said it is difficult to have a serious conversation, but you could write a letter telling her how you feel. If certain thinks are tough to talk about, you can easily express them in a letter. You said people see you as the perfect couple, but you are having problems that no one sees. Communication is so important, open communication, expressing how you feel about one another. You both need to bring back the spark that you had for each other. If you have any more questions I will be happy to answer.