How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dear Debra Your Own Question

Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1826
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
57081136
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dear Debra is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My husband who is nomrally very soft spoken has occasioanl

Resolved Question:

My husband who is nomrally very soft spoken has occasioanl "explosions." Can this be a symptom of anxiety? I am trying not to take it persoanlly, but it can be hard.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
You describe your husband as very soft spoken, but he has occasional explosions. This could be when things become too much for him he gets upset. It's almost as though he holds things in without talking about them and instead of expressing what is wrong at the moment everything builds up and has what you call explosions. This can be solved. If he talks about things the moment it bothers him. He needs to be more expressive about how he feels. If something bothers him or looks like it bothers him, ask him what is on his mind. If he talk about things right away, they will not get to the explosive point. Some times when people get upset over things it might not be the actually thing that he gets upset about. He could be hurt or angry over something else that happened and is just taking it out on you. You want to have him talk things out and explain too him that it bothers you when he gets upset like that, tell him your trying not to take it personal, but you can't help it, it really bothers you to see him upset and wish he would talk things out with you in a calm manner.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
He is very black and white, and not at all introspective. I am just the opposite! He doesn't seem to recognize that he's becoming agitated. Asking him what's bothering him has proven to be the worst way to handle this. Believe me, we have tried counseling. I continue to go; he won't because he felt like the counselor and I were picking on him. I might need to direct this question to an MD, because I think medication would help him. So I'm back to my original question: Is this a symptom of anxiety? BTW, he is very much opposed to taking anxiety meds. He does have high blood pressure, but is not taking medication for it. Could blood pressure medication help? THANKS!!!
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.

High blood pressure wouldn't help his explosive problems, but having high blood pressure is very dangerous for the heart and he should look into ways of lower his blood pressure. When you went to counseling her felt he was being picked on. So he is someone that can't admit when he is wrong or is very sensitive when people point out his flaws. This could be what is going on. He might be someone that gets his feelings hurt very easy. He doesn't know how to express himself, so he just lashes out. You asked is this a syptom of Anxiety. Yes, mood swings can be anxiety. Anxiety is built up and causes the body to react in many ways. The stress that he might have at work, of certain things in his life. It builds up and the body begins to almost protect itself from stress. You said he is opposed to taking medication. There are many other ways for him to relax to relieve some of his stress. He seems to refusing all help. You tried counseling, he refuses medication. He needs to learn what is going to solve the problem. I know you said it makes things worse to talk about it, but you both need to find the soluntion because you don't want this to continue. He would feel so much better if he was able to get rid of some of those things that really bother him.

Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1826
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and 5 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency