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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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My husband who is nomrally very soft spoken has occasioanl

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My husband who is nomrally very soft spoken has occasioanl "explosions." Can this be a symptom of anxiety? I am trying not to take it persoanlly, but it can be hard.
You describe your husband as very soft spoken, but he has occasional explosions. This could be when things become too much for him he gets upset. It's almost as though he holds things in without talking about them and instead of expressing what is wrong at the moment everything builds up and has what you call explosions. This can be solved. If he talks about things the moment it bothers him. He needs to be more expressive about how he feels. If something bothers him or looks like it bothers him, ask him what is on his mind. If he talk about things right away, they will not get to the explosive point. Some times when people get upset over things it might not be the actually thing that he gets upset about. He could be hurt or angry over something else that happened and is just taking it out on you. You want to have him talk things out and explain too him that it bothers you when he gets upset like that, tell him your trying not to take it personal, but you can't help it, it really bothers you to see him upset and wish he would talk things out with you in a calm manner.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
He is very black and white, and not at all introspective. I am just the opposite! He doesn't seem to recognize that he's becoming agitated. Asking him what's bothering him has proven to be the worst way to handle this. Believe me, we have tried counseling. I continue to go; he won't because he felt like the counselor and I were picking on him. I might need to direct this question to an MD, because I think medication would help him. So I'm back to my original question: Is this a symptom of anxiety? BTW, he is very much opposed to taking anxiety meds. He does have high blood pressure, but is not taking medication for it. Could blood pressure medication help? THANKS!!!

High blood pressure wouldn't help his explosive problems, but having high blood pressure is very dangerous for the heart and he should look into ways of lower his blood pressure. When you went to counseling her felt he was being picked on. So he is someone that can't admit when he is wrong or is very sensitive when people point out his flaws. This could be what is going on. He might be someone that gets his feelings hurt very easy. He doesn't know how to express himself, so he just lashes out. You asked is this a syptom of Anxiety. Yes, mood swings can be anxiety. Anxiety is built up and causes the body to react in many ways. The stress that he might have at work, of certain things in his life. It builds up and the body begins to almost protect itself from stress. You said he is opposed to taking medication. There are many other ways for him to relax to relieve some of his stress. He seems to refusing all help. You tried counseling, he refuses medication. He needs to learn what is going to solve the problem. I know you said it makes things worse to talk about it, but you both need to find the soluntion because you don't want this to continue. He would feel so much better if he was able to get rid of some of those things that really bother him.

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