You're both exactly the same types as my wife (INFP with I, N, & F very dominant just like yours). With very dominant inward Feeling, you live in your own inner feelings like a fish in a secret sacred pond. You make decisions out of what feels right to you, but you don't let others know what you're really feeling that often. I had the problem with Pamela, that my Outward feeling expression was not met by hers. She's had to learn to bare her heart to me so I'll know she Really Does Love me, even tho it looks to me often like she just needs me to tend to the walls to protect us from the world, while she can hole up in her cloistered sacred space and practice her art, her imagination, and her prayer. I'll try out some of the Inferior Function interpretations out on you, as I have on her. She has 2 Inferior Functions, and you probably do too. Inferior outward directed Thinking -- so thoughts about the outer world can be underdeveloped and embarrassing if uttered before she's had a chance to approach the matter thoroughly. But when she's worked on those thoughts enough, she's very good. Our former teacher, INFP Jungian analyst XXXXX XXXXX never wrote anything until he was 51, and then it was the Episcopalian priest who'd invited him to give a talk about Parsifal as the symbol of sacred masculinity, recorded it, and then helped him to turn it into his first widely acclaimed book He. Now, around 90, he's still turning them out (around 15), and probably still by improvising a talk (Intuition) full of Feeling colors and then editing it.
Also, because she's really good with intuition about other people, she has a secondary Inferior (underdeveloped) inward directed Sensation, meaning that she doesn't have good awareness of her body. In fact, not only does she stay up all night most nights, but she doesn't recognize when she's either tired or hungry until those needs are way past due. Perceptive types procrastinate a lot, while Judgment Types like me and your partner prefer to adhere to previously planned performance.
INFJ is the Author, Teacher, Big picture Idea man. His interior Intuition is perfect for meditation and production of forward-looking ideas and plans. It's what I'm good at, so your partner should be also. but I'm almost equal I & E, because I've spent so many years (over 30) teaching a wide variety of subjects. You've said your man doesn't show much feeling, so his Feeling stays perhaps in his Buddhist cloistered interior space. He's more of a puzzle to me.
But one other thought about our similarities as couples: When they're younger, people unconsciously choose partners who seem to manifest what they don't yet manifest. Introverts choose Extraverts, Feelers choose Thinkers, Judgments seek Perceptionists
But if they get together later in life, they're more comfortable with somebody more like them. My wife and I met when she was 33 and I was 41. You two met (guessing) at 36 & 42.
But I've got to go do a face-to-face therapy session with an Indian pilot student who used to be in my dream interpretation group when I was still teaching last year. We're going to interpret 2 recent "ego-bruising dreams" and work on him gaining greater awareness of his complex nascent feelings, because they torture him until he can put them into words that make sense to him--and I'm asking him to put them into metaphors instead, because we can think in feeling-colored pictures as well as words. Arjun is a Christian and also an INFJ. I would prefer if you stuck to this one question for now, but gave me a bonus when we've reached an appropriate stopping point, because I now get thirtyfivepercent of your deposit, but eventyfivepercent of any bonuses. When I've finally come of age as a top level expert, I'll get fiftypercent and seventyfivepercent. So I'll soon have my own website where both Pamela&I can answer questions about dreams,relationships,depth psychology,etcetc.
I look forward to more discussion, so I suppose a stopping point needs to be achieved soon, so the management doesn't think we're doing real therapy instead of just education. And we're not doing real therapy, certainly not yet, if ever. But Pamela does Skype therapy (no visuals) with another former student of mine who's back home in Australia. Perhaps it's time for you to focus on where you want our exploration to go. And worrying about his flagging passion and your sinking attraction seems to be getting close, but not all the way in the door to where you'll want to go. What are the interests and passions that once drew you together? for sex is only the ground floor, not the spiritual upper rooms or the basement with its earthen creatures.