Hi, just jumping in with a question here/information request?
whose ethics are we asking about?
his or yours?
Thanks for clarifying this.
Hi, yes you did correspond with psychlady but when she opted out I jumped in.
Its okay Tori, I don't know what the site looks like from the customer point of view as I only sign on from the expert side, so it could very well be confusing and I will share this observation with JA.
Its just fine if you wish to notify PayPal to get your money back. I had read your post and I was just confused when you spoke about ethics if you were talking about your ex lovers or your own and that is why I responded as I did.
You know JA is a real and bona fide site and we offer education and information to consumers. While most of us are practicing therapists we offer responses based on our experience that are not therapy. I can imagine you are disappointed with your experience with us but I hope you will try again.
I apologize for my confusion with your post. Obviously from what I read you are in a lot of pain and certainly very frustrated. I can not imagne what good you might do by alerting this mans wife as his behavior is really no longer your business and her welfare was never your business but I so do understand how angry you are at being betrayed as you were and how much you wish that no one ever endure what you did. I very much understand this. You do not wish on your worst enemy what happened to you and so you had the thought to warn. This is why I thought you were asking an ethical question about yourself as in? Is it ethical for me to involve myself in someones business that has nothing to do with me? Thats what I thought when I read your post. And the answer is no, its not your business.
As for him? well I think you already know he is without morals or ethics as he could not honor his marriage vows so I cant imagine that you would ask us about him?Were you?
Enough for now.
Let me know what serves you best on this and how to best help you?
Warm regards XXXXX XXXXX an awkward and emotion filled post
you take good care of you girl
take much better care of you and your heart
Its just not your business is it :)
It has nothing to do with you.
You wont accomplish a thing but come across as a scorned ex lover.
You can live with yourself by understanding that you are responsible for yourself and your own behaviors and no one elses.
Take the high road on this one and keep your information to yourself.
Its none of your business and you want to tell his wife because you are still in love with him and you want him to hurt as much as he hurt you. Nothing to be gained in this.
Ethically and morally it is wrong for you to talk.
Find a way to heal and move on with your life.
I know you don't like my response any more than you did my colleagues but it would be unethical of me to lie to you.
Its just not your business, its his and its hers and not yours.
Heal, move on and feel better.
I know your heart is broken and you are in great pain but you will feel so so so much worse if you wreck vengeance.
You take good care of you
Warm wishes on such a painful post.
I understand that it may not be fair but if you witness a crime such as molestation, well of course, it is your civic duty to do speak up.
Adultery while considered immoral and sinful in many religions is not a crime. It is a violation of a contract between the two spouses. It is really no one's business but the two consenting adults who married.
I know this is hard to accept. I have counseled many people in your position and I know its hard to wrap your mind around it, but even if you had an affair and unknowingly or knowingly were a party to the violation of that marriage contract, it is simply not your business.
That said, you can do whatever you wish to do about this. I am not for a moment saying you cannot do this, I am saying you will come off looking badly if you do and that it is unlikely you will accomplish anything more than cause more pain.
Your skull is not thick, if anything you quite intelligent and most thoughtful. On top of this I find you very honest which is a refreshing quality in this day and age.
I have a tiny hope that you will meet someone else who can appreciate you and your qualities more than he could. I think you deserve a man who will love and cherish you and would have the presence of mind and strength of character to commit to you. If your ex flame had either he would have gone to his wife, admitted his indiscretion and committed to you. I am personally quite angry by the way he treated both you and his wife and wish he would man up to his behaviors.
I won't be holding my breath on that though.
Since you are smart, honest and thoughtful and clearly young at heart why don't you give another guy a chance? You deserve to be treasured.
Think about what I have said?
There are a lot of nice guys out there who would love to have a woman like you.
Tori, take good care of you.
I will keep you in my thoughts.