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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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impatient

Resolved Question:

I feel that I am getting increasingly impatient with my fiance lately due to our inability to do things because he is in his last semester in school and does not have a job. However, he has money in an account. It has paid for his college etc...I on the other hand have a job and am paying my student loans back. I am wanting to get a dog, go see things, live life basically. And in some way I feel that i may hold some sort of resentment towards him. Does this make sense? How can I be patient with this situation or look at in in another way?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.

Right now you feel like your life is on hold because there is a lot going on, your fiance is in college and doesn't have a job. So it's hard to do the things you want because of finances. You have a job and you are paying student loans. You want to see your life advance in moving forward, you want to get a dog, do things, and live a life. But right now this is not happening. You are feeling like life is on hold for you and you fiance. This is causing you to have resentment towards him because you feel you are not living life. You ask does this make sense? Yes, it does. You want to know how you can be patient or look at this in a new way. Right now you and your fiance are planning a future. You are both taking the steps to creating a life together. He is in his last semester of school and his grandfather wanted him to focus on school and not work. This way he could study and not worry about working. Once your fiance is out of school, he will get a job and you will begin to see the new stages of your life together change. This is just a struggle because your feeling unsettled. You want to have certain things and you are frustrated because you don't see things happening. You want to see life making progress, but some times it feels like it is standing still. But this is one stage in your life and you will begin to see things move forward. You said you want a dog, this is something you want. It's almost like you set a goal and you begin to follow it through. But things take time and you both are right now creating a life together. You want to go out and experience life and have fun. But your life feel still. I know it's hard but you have to both make time for each other. Even if it is taking a walk. You need to talk things out also on how you feel. If you can talk about things it will help in solving the problem. Understanding each others feelings is the solution.

Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1828
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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