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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have been with my husband for 19 years. Since the birth of

Customer Question

I have been with my husband for 19 years. Since the birth of our son out relationship has changed. I gave up a well paid job in london and now work at a local school and part time in a bar, this means the money responsibilty is mainly with him. He had a spell of taking drugs which put a huge strain on us but I think this is more under controll now. We dont want the same things any more, hardly do anthing together as a couple or as a family. I just dont feel the same was anymore. I love him but I think thats just because of our history. I am scared to leave him as I dont want to loose our home, hurt anyone especially my son. I have also met some one - not anyone I would have a relationship with but has made me realise even more the void between my husband and I. I am so confussed and stressed and scared
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
You should never be in a relationship out of just obligation. You are not doing your son or your husband a favor by staying when it is all a lie You deserve and your child deserves a chance to be in a relationship that is fulfilling for everyone. You are setting him up to waste his time in a loveless relationship and that isn't doing anyone a favor. Try to find instead a way to leave that benefits everyone as much as possible. Your husband will hurt now but he can move on. Otherwise his heart will never be open to a new relationship. Finances can always be compromised on; don't stay for money. And your child as well. Work on a solution for visitation etc that works for both of you. It is better to separate now than when your son is much older. Discuss this and find solutions that are fair
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I know that he will make it hard, he wont want to move out and I can not afford anywhere. I dont know where I stand. We are buying the house together and when he is working he pays his share of the bills, legally i can not make him move out and I dont want to get into a war with him that will effect archie. I have looked into help but because i work and am a home buyer the help available to me is just not there.

Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
Spend some more time exploring your options; your happiness is worth the biggest sacrifice. There may be an angle that you haven't checked. If you remain together, you have to know that compromise is an option and possibly couples counseling. Even when something appears hopeless it may not be

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