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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hello, my girlfriend is living with me for approx 8 months

Customer Question

Hello, my girlfriend is living with me for approx 8 months now. We kinda share bills now where i pay the rent and she pays for some of my stuff. She works six days a week and is exhausted everytime she comes home. She says that the bills need to be paid so all she does is work. She complains how her life sucks and all she does is work to pay bills. Then i asked how much are you in debt. she said 40k when in actuality its 75k. Not sure why this is but every girl i meet either has kids and are broke or are in massive debt. So as you can see this relationship is getting rough. I go out every sat with friends because she falls asleep. two sex life is going down the tubes. Three i start my landscaping in 3 weeks and i am depressed. I am starting to stray which is what I do when i feel trapped. I am beginning to think that the dating scene is a disaster as all women are comming with excessive baggage. So i am not to enclined to jump ship but I need some sort of a real relationship. Not sure what to do thanks.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
It sounds like you have a relationship but communication is poor. I say that because if you really want to work on this relationship you can help your girlfriend find ways to meet her obligations and still have time to be a couple. If you have a habit of jumping ship then you will find that you are going from relationship to relationship when it becomes difficult. You can always ask the questions you are concerned about early in the relationship if it is about money or kids. Ask yourself now is the relationship worth saving if she was free of debt. Maybe it isn't. I fear that you are wondering around when you can't talk about this with your partner or feel that you are being neglected. These are situations that can be changed. If you want to stay encourage girlfriend to meet with someone who knows a lot about debt. If you are leaving then be open and honest - she deserves that

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