How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Cathy Your Own Question

Cathy
Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
25773729
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Cathy is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am in love with a woman who has expressed an interest in

Resolved Question:

I am in love with a woman who has expressed an interest in me and her close friend told me she loved me. The problem is she is my boss and we are trying to maintain a professional relationship at work and it isn't hard to do. However, the other part of the relationship is not growing. She has asked me to move in with her but I am not sure of the relationship that entails. We have never gone beyond a brief hug. I am confused as to what to do next.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 3 years ago.

Cathy :

Hi thanks for writing JA

Cathy :

are you there customer?

Cathy :

hello?

Customer:

Yes

Cathy :

hi there nice to see you

Cathy :

how are you doing today?

Customer:

Thank you I am good.

Cathy :

great

Cathy :

may I ask how old you are?

Customer:

66

Cathy :

okay and you work and your boss is in love with you?

Cathy :

and you with she?

Customer:

Yes, I volunteer full time and we have a mutual connection.

Cathy :

is that about the gist of this

Customer:

Not exactly

Cathy :

okay so you arenot really an employee of hers you are a volunteer?

Customer:

Yes a volunteer

Cathy :

okay good

Cathy :

now are there other places you can volunteer where you live?
or just there

Cathy :

where she works?

Customer:

Well I love what the ministry is doing and I care about their mission. I love where I am working and I like and feel comfortable where I am.

Cathy :

oh yes I can imagine

Customer:

What does that mean.

Cathy :

but workplace relationships are not a good idea for the most part

Cathy :

if things end badly its a problem

Cathy :

if it goes well it can be a problem so we usually advise against them if possible

Customer:

that is what she felt was a problem and I am wondering if that is why everything is being kept

Customer:

professional. But then I wonder if I am just a convenience.

Cathy :

yes she can be accused of sexual harrassment and lose her job if she is a paid employee

Customer:

Well she has not even suggested anything. It is a mutual attraction.

Cathy :

the other piece I find odd is that she wants you to move in with her and you have not spent any time with her outside of the work place?

Cathy :

okay I see

Cathy :

I am beginning to understand more now

Customer:

Well she is a very caring person and she is worried about me and she has been helpful as far as supporting my efforts. even trying to find a job.

Cathy :

I see

Cathy :

okay

Cathy :

you know it is unclear to me what is going on

Cathy :

does she wish to be your caretaker?

Cathy :

or is this a romance?

Customer:

That is what I am not sure of.

Cathy :

yea it is certainly muddy

Cathy :

can you ask her? are you ever alone with her so that you can ask her?

Cathy :

what she has in mind?

Customer:

Yes, but I am afraid I will overstep the boundries.

Cathy :

oh by asking her?

Cathy :

I dont think so

Cathy :

just by having a conversation with her is fine

Cathy :

just ask her

Cathy :

why do you want me to live with you?

Customer:

Ok so you think I need to clarify what she is thinking?

Cathy :

oh my yest

Cathy :

yes

Cathy :

This is not clear at all

Cathy :

and dont worry about boundaries

Cathy :

you need to be able to communicate

Cathy :

so talking is fine

Customer:

OK, I know it isn't and I feel like it goes back and forth. That is why I am confused.

Cathy :

me too

Cathy :

confused

Customer:

OK

Cathy :

have a nice chat with her and figure out what is going on first

Cathy :

good luck to you on this

Customer:

Thank you

Cathy :

be well and good luck

Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience: Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
Cathy and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency