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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I need help I have realised over 3 years my ex still has a

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I need help I have realised over 3 years my ex still has a stranglehold on my life, I would like to break free from her and move on that way I can stop messing mine and others live up. My ex use to go out on girls night out and would spend the night at her friends. This continued for three years, I must have been blind to it, or love struck but one particular night me and a mate came out of a bar and I caught her walking hand in hand with another bloke. I finally bumped in to her at a club with the same bloke she looked sheepish and went home. When we spoke she said that she used her friend as a way of sleeping with different men, she did not love me and we finished.

Last night after pre deployment training I went drinking with Charlotte and friends. Charlotte the girls in question from previous advise sought ignored me most of the night and ended up kissing a guy infront of me, which the red mist formed and I later that evening we had an argument and now we are hardly talking.

I got six months to get my head sorted, but I need help with trust issues?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You need help with trust because you have had such as choatic history with this partner. It is going to be very difficult to develop trust after such deception. And it is going to be even more difficult in 6 months. This has to be resolved with open communication and compromise. The question is she able to do either. If not, then it can't work because one person does not make a relationship. There needs to be commitment for their to be a healthy relationship. Start by having a conversation about what you need, what you want, and how to get it with the two of you in particular. This will be a wake up call as to if this is possible. If you she doesn't make it clear that there is a commitment then it won't work. Also decide on your own if you can get past the trust issues because it is important if this is possible; sometimes the damage has been done and it is better to move on
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