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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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My partner and I have been together for 4 years and he just

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My partner and I have been together for 4 years and he just told his kids about us couple months ago, I am never included in any outings and I just found out he is planning on vacationing with them for a week and holidays spending with his family and his kids amI just sensitive to this or is it a just complaint??
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 6 years ago.
You have been together for four years and he just told his kids about us a couple of months ago. This is very common that people want to think of their children and how it will affect them meeting someone new that is not there parent. You said you are not included in any outings because your partner most likely feels that his children are not ready. Also some times the other parent often has feelings about this as well. But I understand how you feel. You are questioning why can't you be involved in the vacation, holidays. You are very understanding and because your partner has children he is thinking about what is best for them right now. He seems like as of right now he would like to keep this part of his life separate. He has been with you for four years and you both seems to have a very understanding relationship. But I do understand that you feel excluded in some parts of his life.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

do you think this is a reason to stop this relationship ?he just bought me a house also my kids love him all our kids are from 18 - 26 years old and I include him in everything I do as a familyour ids are the same age

 

Expert:  Dear Debra replied 6 years ago.
No, I don't feel this is a reason to stop this relationship. You have a committed relationship with each other. He just bought you a house, your kids love him. This is someone that is fully committed too you. But has different views on you meeting his children. The children being of that age might also have an opinion on how they feel. You and him have a solid relationship buying a house, your kids love him. He just wants to keep that part of his life separate. He might be thinking it would cause a problem between your relationship with him, so he chooses to keep it separate. You sound like you both have built a great life together, there could be many reason why he keeps his life separate. It could be the children, the other parent. But you and him are at a very exciting point in your life buying a house. That is very exciting for all of you.
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