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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Hi i am really not sure how this works, basically my issue is with my boyfriend and its with trust issues. we have been together for four years now, we have had an up and down relationship. I was his first girlfriend he was only 17 and i was 18 when we first started dating also i am only sex partner, to my knowledge he has nt slept with anyone else. Hes friendly nature got him into trouble at the begining of our relationship and he was at a party and he was being friendly towards this girl and she kissed him, he felt very upset about this and told me, i was upset this happened but i forgave him. Then a year later he went on holiday with his mates and yet again he was friendly with another girl this time he danced with her and she also kissed him this time he did nt tell me because of me reaction before cause i was furious and almost ended it so i guess he was scared, he said he has been honest since that and wont hide anything from me, this has really scard our relationship but i cant seem to want to let him go, ive nagged him for last 2 years to tell me if there is anything else i should know but he says there nothing else to tell me. Hes thought about walking away cause he cant take the nagging but his still here. he says im there girl he wants to have his life with and no one else, i dont know if i find this hard to accept as he says hes never had sex with any one apart from any one but me, i want a future with him. So i should just a
accept by gone to be by gones and that be that and accept whats happened and just have a future with my boyfriend, i could nt bare to be with out and i love him, he is still here so i guess he really wants his life with me, whats your thoughts??
P.S Thanks in advance
I feel like this relationship needs a fresh start. You need to both let go of the part and start again. You can't keep living in the past because it will hurt your relationship for the future. He has told you straight that you are the girl for him he does not want anyone else. You are still both together and you said you couldn't bare your life with out him. So it is time to heal from this problem and focus on each other. He has said he has trouble with the nagging. He has been very honest with you and has admitted things. You need to look at how much you both care about each other. You need to reestablish trust again in this relationship. You need to trust that what he is saying is true. I want you both to let go of the past and reconnect on a new level. I think once you express all your feelings about this situation, drop it and move forward into having an amazing future together. You both love each other. You don't want the past to change the future of this relationship. It is very clear too me that you can't imagine your life with out him, so think about the life you both want to have together, instead of discussing the past, start discussing the future.
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