The key is you "are afraid to be alone".
This fear keeps you from making great relatioship decisions. You come to your relationships in a dependent condition and then settle for whatever you can get. In other words you are not free to ask, " what do I want" instead you find your self settling for what you think you must, to avoid being alone. To get a richer relationship with your husband or someone else you must first deal more with your own fears.
if my friend were more clear of what plans he has for me, i would have a better idea.but, Mark, all i hear from him" where is it gonna go?, let's stay fiends for the rest of our lifes, and have coffee, together without any risks".
I am talking to you about you, and you are talking about other people. I know your not used to it and it can be scary, but you need to learn to look at yourself and confront your self to improve your relationships with others. Finding lasting happiness has everything to do with you and very little to do with your husband or your friend. I suggest you reread the first messages I sent you and see if you can respond to them.
i don't know how to deal with my fears.... Lately, there are so many of them, it started affect my well being.
Mark, it is so simple, but you opened my eyes, that i have to face me, to resolve all of this. i include and blame everyone else... how do i know < what's right? i feel so confused
Good job! The first step in dealing with your fears is to ackowledge them. It is tempting to run from our fears and busy ourselves with every other thing. Do you believe in a higher power? If so give me some idea of your concept, if not give some idea of why not.
you mean G-D?
Yes or whatever you call it if it exists for you.
Yes, I believe. However, I am embarrassed to talk to Him, since so many things are circulating in my head.... cheating is punished, I am already punished with the mood swings, uncertainties, doubts, imbalance. I was closer to Him once, and was a better person! Now I grew older, became bitter. Many times I just don't feel like getting closer at all. Get closer…. Is this the key? I guess, I need to start concentrating on my spirituality, perhaps I will see the right path…..
thanks for your wonderful advise, Mark.