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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1813
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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My boyfriend had recently separated when we started dating

Customer Question

My boyfriend had recently separated when we started dating (agreed to separate a couple months before but moved out a couple weeks before we met). In the beginning he made it clear there were no lingering emotional ties, they had been unhappy for a while and staying together for the kids. His behavior matched, fully with me, no distractions, minimal contact with the ex regarding their daughter & things were wonderful for months, moving forward, moved in, all was well. A few months ago (about 5 months into.our relationship) his soon to be ex found out he was with me. She went thru his phone while he was visiting their daughter and was enraged he had been in a committed relationship, was in love, living with me. Since then she has been going back and forth btwn telling him how awful he is and was, and begging him to come home. Shes been calling and texting constantly and he rarely replies, but he is noticeably stressed out about the drama. The past week or 2 have been hard, alternating btwn normal & him being Irritable, distracted, not comforting me... just hasn't been right. When I brought it up, he says he's just stressed & angry over the drama. I had a weak moment & looked at his texts briefly, then felt guilty and stopped. Just from the recent ones, she knew that he has had probs in bed and he thought I will break up. She actually reassured him I wouldn't. What should I do about the overall situation? On both sides, this feels like a great relation with bright future. How do we best cope with this rough patch? And what should I do about the texts? Feel so guilty invading his privacy & mad he told her anything about us, especially probs were having (cuz of her).
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 3 years ago.
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