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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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me and my bf we living together for a year..i love him 2 bits

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me and my bf we living together for a year..i love him 2 bits but he is 42 and me 22 and he wants differnt things ...i want a baby but i can,t get pregnant..plus i,m very bored cu z everything i do is work and home...we spoke and he thinks i should live my life cuz i,m young,,but i love him and can.t see my life without him....
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
That is a big age difference and it's very possible you could want very different thiings. That may be why you are at different stages. However it can be worked out but both of you have to be 100% committed so huge issues like babies can be resolved. It's not hopeless but it takes more work than a relationship with where people are in the same stage. You have to keep in mind that he has to be in this too. He willl need to compromise too for any goal in this relationship to work. You have to come to terms with how to discuss issues and so does he. So consider if a compromise can be reached because you deserve to be happy over the long term. Not having an baby for instance is a huge issue. Make yourself happy too or you will not be happy. If it's just fighting than it isn't being resolved
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

yes..but i don.t know how to tell him that i need my time out without him to think that is a big diffrence between us and won,t work...last night we decide to finish but i can,t and i know that he loves me more then anyting..and we,ve been going for very hard time last year with his ex wife and with my ..not so good..past..and because i didnt want to hurt him i lied a few times and now he can,t trust me

Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
I know this is going to be a difficult issue to resolve and it is for any couple. Many times one person needs time and the other doesn't., But you have to find compromise in order to get what you need. I am not saying to go in asking for time several times a week. But lead in with a reasonable request. This will be impacted by lack of trust but you can't change that now. You can have quality time with him to offer support but that doesn't mean you can't find one activity to do on your own that will act as a starting point. There is no way to get what you want any other way by communication and compromise. You shouldn't have to pay for your lies forever
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
ok thanks..now i want to talk to somebody about me and about my feeling..can i speack with u..is just that sometimes i feel im going crazy
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
You can always speak to me. Why do feel that way? Is there something that triggers it? What type of feelings do you have and for what reason?
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

sometimes i feel i don.t want to live anymore..i even tried to tke my life 3 times...i think i suffer to much and i don,t desrve it..my parents lfet me in orphanage when i was only 3years old..then at 15 i got out and i didn,t do best for my life...i,ve been raped when i was 16 twice from the same guy and i was afraid to go to the autorities,,police...then my mom got sick and she neede money for her medicine cuz she was very bad so i sell my body for money for 3 weeks,,and now i feel so guilty.my boyfriend accepted me even with my mistakes but i,m afraid i might lose him because i lied to him a few times about my past..and when i,m alone i,m thinking at all this and get very sad and upset

Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.

You really need to seek a counselor/therapist immediately. For now don't worry about what you have told him or what he accepts. These are multiple traumas that need to be discussed with a therapist. You may also need medication. I am worried about your past and the ability of you to handle it. This is a huge burden to bear! You may suffer from depression or you may just be wounded from several traumas. When you have sufficiently worked on you then bring it to him in a structured setting like counseling. You so deserve to be happy and you probably can't get there on your own.

 

You can always use this method for advice but that won't help with everything. Please call a therapist even if it is from the phone book. Call a hospital if you are suicidal or 911

psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i don.t want to see a therapist...cuz i was very down when i,ve tried to take my life..now i know it was a very stupid thing to do...is just that i feel so lonely...specialy when he-s gone
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
It's Healthy to see a therapist when you are that depressed. I understand that you feel lonely but some of that might be depression. You of course also have issues regarding the boyfriend, but it very well may be both. Going won't solve all of your problems. They may be able to let you vent about him and find out more things about yourself and how you feel about him. Lonliness can be a feeling that is really part of depression but feels like it is about a loved one. Your problems are interrelated and you can sometimes find relationships that aren't positive or be in relationship that aren't positive. Just consider this.
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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