yes..but i don.t know how to tell him that i need my time out without him to think that is a big diffrence between us and won,t work...last night we decide to finish but i can,t and i know that he loves me more then anyting..and we,ve been going for very hard time last year with his ex wife and with my ..not so good..past..and because i didnt want to hurt him i lied a few times and now he can,t trust me
sometimes i feel i don.t want to live anymore..i even tried to tke my life 3 times...i think i suffer to much and i don,t desrve it..my parents lfet me in orphanage when i was only 3years old..then at 15 i got out and i didn,t do best for my life...i,ve been raped when i was 16 twice from the same guy and i was afraid to go to the autorities,,police...then my mom got sick and she neede money for her medicine cuz she was very bad so i sell my body for money for 3 weeks,,and now i feel so guilty.my boyfriend accepted me even with my mistakes but i,m afraid i might lose him because i lied to him a few times about my past..and when i,m alone i,m thinking at all this and get very sad and upset
You really need to seek a counselor/therapist immediately. For now don't worry about what you have told him or what he accepts. These are multiple traumas that need to be discussed with a therapist. You may also need medication. I am worried about your past and the ability of you to handle it. This is a huge burden to bear! You may suffer from depression or you may just be wounded from several traumas. When you have sufficiently worked on you then bring it to him in a structured setting like counseling. You so deserve to be happy and you probably can't get there on your own.
You can always use this method for advice but that won't help with everything. Please call a therapist even if it is from the phone book. Call a hospital if you are suicidal or 911