HI and thanks for writing
I don't know if my response is helpful to you or not, but it seems you might look into Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. While this therapy was originally developed for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, it has shown to be very effective with the types of disturbances that you describe. While I do see that you do not have BPD, I think the abuse you endured from your mother compounded with your father's absence may have had some long term effect on your closest relationships.DBT would address this very well.
Also, DBT is only practiced by specially trained mental health practitioners who are highly skilled. I am going to attach a link for you to research more. If this has been helpful to you let me know and if you think you would like a different response let me know and I will opt out so others can weigh in.
I wish you all the best on this.