How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
52358615
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My brother and I dont talk to each other anymore. It will

Resolved Question:

My brother and I don't talk to each other anymore. It will be 1 year this March when this first began. This started with a he-said-she-said situation. It all happened when someone (I still don't know who) was saying that I was saying that I no longer have a family, and I have no brothers because they don't take care of me. This was said to me by my grandmother. I tried asking my grandmother who told her all of this and she would not tell me, even until this very day. Because my mother is the only person who talks to my grandmother, I assumed it was her saying all these things. I got upset and refused to answer my mother's calls. My mother got upset and told my older brother that I wasn't talking to her.

In a few days I received a very long and hurtful email from my older brother. I can discuss everything he wrote to me, but it's too much to include here. Nonetheless, I was very hurt. Eventually my mother and I decided that it would be best to clear the air, between her and I, and talk. She said that she had never told my grandmother anything of that nature and I apologized for ignoring her calls.

My mom and I are fine now but the relationship between my brother and me still dwindles. I feel that I had done nothing wrong to deserve such an email and everything was just a big misunderstanding. I feel like my brother tries to act like a father towards me and even said that he doesn't like being my father-figure. I never asked for one and I already have a father. I've told him before that I would rather have him as my brother. He attests in his email that I am a "out of control late blooming rebellious teenager." I've asked the rest of family about this and they disagree. I do believe that I've changed, just like everyone else, but not for the worse. I don't drink much, except for 1 drink on a special occasions. I never used to swear and now I do, but again, not much. He holds very strong feelings against my boyfriend because he says that I depend too much on him, spend too much time with him, and he's the reason for my changing.

I can go on and on about our issues, but the fact of the matter is is that my brother and I don't talk and I would like an apology from his end, but I don't see it coming. My brother and I used to be very close up until he got married and moved closer to his job (about an hour away). I miss him very much and want us to get to talking again.

I am afraid to approach him for a fear that he still thinks of me the same way. And I believe he does because he's told my mother recently that I am not the same person I used to be. My brother tends to be a very cold person and it can be very hard to talk to him (things tend to get really awkward). Regardless, I want us to be okay, I just don't know what I should do to get us moving in a positive direction. I honestly wish he would be the one to come around.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
Family disputes are very difficult and very emotional. They can hit where it hurts. The one thing you have to accept is that apologies come when they come and very seldom with any apologies. If you can just open the door, that may be all your get for awhile. This probably is going to be a very slow process. Possibly have your mother have a small sit down between you and him, or send him an email NOT asking for an apology and see what happens. Sometimes over time our memories become even more complicated about why we are mad. Start with the smallest pebble of truth and work from there
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and 4 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
psychlady
psychlady
Clinical Director
3587 Satisfied Customers
I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues