It sounds like you should investigate the possibility of a mood disorder coupled with self esteem issues. Both of these together can work together to cause you great distress and depressed mood. This then spills over into your relationships because your sense of security is not enough to deal with issues within that relationship. This will really effect any relationship since the insecurities are with you. You probably know all of this and know you need professional help.
There are ways to access counseling in any state if you have no money. There are counselors who are required to do pro bono work or pro bono practices that charge nothing. You can also pursue state funding to cover medical issues and those plans include mental health. If you want a book to read on your own the bible of this sort of issue is called Codependent No More.
Use some of your time to educate yourself on how codependency and low self esteem lead to sadness, poor self image, unstable relationship and feelings that you are not the beautiful person that most people are. Do this before you engage in negative relationships or ruin yours now