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psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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How do i deal with a 19 year old son who tells me he wants

Resolved Question:

How do i deal with a 19 year old son who tells me he wants nothing to do with me as long as I am in a relationship with someone he does not like???
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
It's always very difficult when it comes to choices such as these. Your son and your boyfriend probably don't appreciate the position they are putting you in. You are right personal contact is the only way. Maintain your texts until you can schedule a sit down. You should agree to disagree about the relationship - the bigger picture I mean - but find ground rules that can help everyone function in this situation. You son will probably be willing to compromise if you acknowledge his feelings. For instance you may attend certain functions alone (I don't know you find your own). This can be a start to something that may later be more conducive to including everyone.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I am a man, so its not a boy friend but my girlfriend/life partner.

 

Are the details of my partner important to reveal or does that even make a difference?

Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
It doesn't matter if it is girlfriend because it is just as delicate a balance. The details of the partner is not important as much as the situation at hand. She may feel that some relationship is better than none. So we put up with things that may not be fair. Support her in whatever form of relationship she has with them even if you think it isn't the best
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I did not understand what you meant by "She may feel that some relationship is better than none. ".

 

I am dealing with my son and his feelings to end his relationship wioth me because of her.

 

I told him that it's not about her, but he and i need to get a better understanding of what's bothering him and to work things out between us.

 

He says he wont until I get rid of her.

Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
I meant that sometimes when kids do things we don't like, we choose having a fair relationship over none at all. it is a shame that he does't get your point because that is exactly how resolving this happen. You have to work on the relationship between you and him first. It's now fair to ask you to make that choice. Continue to try to appeal to his emotions and find a way to meet just the two of you to agree on terms to make your relationship with him work. You don't know. He probably will come around. He wants a relationship with you whether he says that or not. So keep trying to find the starting point that will appeal to his positive feelings about you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Sounds good. Can we resume this again if needed???? Do you retain this info if I need to discuss another day????

Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
I don't retain information, but if you give me a brief synopsis I have a good memory. You can contact me Psychlady here anytime
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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