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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My partner and I have been in a relationship for 10 years.

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My partner and I have been in a relationship for 10 years. They started a new job recently as a nurse and that’s taken away time together – Since I work 9-5 and they work 3 to 11. So things have seemed to have changed. There are other things as well but I see that as the most glaring problem. With that said – We never fight or argue, get along well, and I do know that we both feel love for each other. We do have some different interests and hobbys (etc) – but overall I think in many respects we compliment each other. I haven’t been happy and tried to address this with them and basically they said they were done and “wanted out” (Not in a mean way)
I said “Keep an open mind” for now and lets see what happens. We both share a house so we see each other every day – and we actually do things together – food shopping, or have lunch together, TV etc. I feel like I do want to try – but never really got any clarification on what their issues were…. I don’t think they really know themselves – Other than a sense that something isn’t right or satisfying. I have those feelings as well – but I always try to work through them and communicate (They aren’t great at expressing their feelings) and choose to avoid any difficult conversations. Just like I had to bring up the fact that Im not happy first in order to hear it from them. My thought was to discuss things and see if they got better – While they just wanted to end it. I feel like since we live in the same house its tough for me to give them the space they need to see what they are really feeling or want. Should I continue to operate with them “as roommates” like we are now – Or should I try to make myself less available to create some space. They are looking for an apartment right now – but it may be a while until they can afford one on their own
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
Try to develop interests that do take you away from things. Try to give them space whenever possible. If you want to give them space, stop acting as roommates - lunches etc. Form separate lives and approach this that way
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