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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I have been back together with my high school sweetheart for

Customer Question

I have been back together with my high school sweetheart for almost 6 months now. He is turning 28 tomorrow. He regularly has trouble returning my phone calls, and I am slowly growing to understand that. Last night however, he returned my calls through a voice mail and also told me the name of a restaurant he will be having dinner at with his stepmother and the time. I sent both a voice and text message to him asking him to clarify on whether I was invited. I still haven't gotten a response in either approach from him.. I sent the voice mail almost 19 hours ago and the text message 12 hours. What should I do? Should I call him again? Leave him alone? I want to spend some part of his birthday with him, but I don't like him waiting until the last minute to get this situation clarified for me...and it's starting to really frustrate me a lot.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

If he had provided the time/place where the event is taking place, it appears that this is an open invitation. You've already followed up twice. It would be best to let him reply as it should be him communicating with you. If you're finding yourself frustrated and him not very communicative, you may want to at some point talk to him about this situation.

Try to objectively think about what are your expectations of him and if he is not only willing but able to met them.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I don't understand what you meant by the last part. "Try to objectively think...and if he is not only willing but able to meet them." If I understand you right, he is not able to meet them all the time. My HSS has ADD and I know sometimes he has poor follow through. If I don't hear from him at all this evening, do you think I should try contacting him one more time again tomorrow - the day OF his birthday?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

If he does not respond by the time of his party, you can still decide to go or not. Calling him again won't change anything. If you are the only one to constantly call, even if it is to remind him that he had not gotten back with you, you enable this behavior. ADD should not be his excuse.

 

Thinking objectively is the ability and willingness to view a situation without attaching emotions or ego desires to it that are suitable to the self. Just like any neutral person who had not invested feelings and has no expectations of him, you too see the situation for what it is (without rationalizing or excusing his behavior in order to stay peaceful)

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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Counselor
4627 Satisfied Customers
Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.