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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have been in a live in relationship for 7 1/2 years. He

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I have been in a live in relationship for 7 1/2 years. He is a great guy but not much of a provider. Last year I began a religion that does not believe in living together, he has recently moved out because of that. We are having a hard time breaking things off and last night I told him that he has 1 month to get a job and marry me or I was done. This doesn't feel right to me, even though he was ok with it. Any advice?
There are several possibilities here. I don't really suggest getting married as a result of an ultimatum. This does not give the other party the opportunity to bring his own feelings about this to the situation. But if he did not respond with anger and he was ok with it, then he must agree to a point. That's why it didn't feel right. That doesn't mean you can't come together as a couple and find a compromise. If you sit down and approach this in a different way then you may be surprised. However keep in mind that if he has been a poor provider that probably will not change. You will need to accept a life with his being a poor provider and be okay with the long term ramifications of this. Are you prepared to pick up the slack. Treat his inability to be a poor provider for the long term, and decide if you will still accept this in the long term.

Edited by psychlady on 1/8/2011 at 9:26 PM EST
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