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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My daughter who has a history of depression,and previous heart

Customer Question

My daughter who has a history of depression,and previous heart breaks is living with me and her boyfriend.My daughter who is very sensitive associates little mistakes made by her boyfriend as acts of being disrespectful,being taken for granted and uncaring.Sometimes these little things are done repeatedly much more so that my daughter's feelings of being taken for granted are reinforced.Her boyfriend gets frustrated when these arguments come up because my daughter resorts to crying and non stop complaining.These incidents have strained the relationship.I'm always fearful that the relationship would end up on a breakup which I'm afraid my daughter won't be able to recover from.Please advise me what I can do or advise them to help save their relationship.Thank you.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
It is very difficult for someone with depression to handle conflict because they internalize other people's actions as being disrespectful, hurtful or selfish. By her reactions, it sounds like there may be some self esteem issues as well. this would really explain her extreme reactions. As far as the relationship goes, I almost always encourage counseling. This benefits a young couple often. I am not encouraging you to interfere, but it may be helplful to discuss with her why she feels this way and how it does not match his actions. Sometimes people don't really understand that they are overreacting. But explore how she feels about herself and how this impacts how she interprets his actions. You can also reinforce this with him even though you have brought this up. It would be helpful since they both know you have observed their arguments to not act as a counselor but to sit both of them down and see how productive a discussion about this can be. If you can't find a professional counselor, try finding a trusted figure to see them briefly. If all of this fails it is up to them to get along but I have faith in these suggestions

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