How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
52358615
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a girl that i have been seeing for 4 weeks. A week

Resolved Question:

I have a girl that i have been seeing for 4 weeks.

A week ago, she tells me that she is suffering from depression and that she wants to cool things off and for us to "Be Good Friends". She stated that she wanted to calm the depression down, and takes things on from where we left off when she was feeling better.

I agreed to this, and we have been texting talking since, although just lately she has becombe very distant.

Just last night, she text me to say that her father who lives in Scotland has been told he has only 6 months to live, and HE wanted her to go back to her ex boyfriend who HE still loved. so, not wanting to feel guilty she is stuck in a dilema. Im pretty sure that she likes me because she was very adamant that she wanted us to pick up where we left off.

Her mother passed away when she was the age of 4 so her father has been there for her since.

He tells me she needs space to work things out and she is very very confused at what she should do, I think she still may feelings for her ex and it wouldnt take much for her to go back to him.

I feel like im losing this girl who i have grown very fond of and she too. Im so worried and anctious about the whole situation. I cant eat, sleep or anything. She is not replying to my texts now either.

So worried.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
I wish I could say something that could fix this but as in any relationship it takes two willing and motivated people to remain in that relationship. You are fortunately and unfortunately an emotional guy who commit totally to a relationship and that's why you are having a hard time adjusting to this new situation. If she returns to this other guy, whether out of guilt or out of choice. You cannot change that. In that case, you have to move forward and find someone who really appreciates you. If you want to continue to leave words of wisdom in the hope that she does not go with him, then that's fine too but be prepared for hanging onto something that may not work out. As far as her depression and her stress she is definitely under stress and will decide what she's to decide. She may be feeling obligated because of the situation to this guy, but that means you can't change it. Try to give it some time but then after that it's time to move on.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thanks

 

Its the sheer fact that im in limbo, i want to be with her so much and feel that she is being forced into something she is not wanting to keep her father happy. She stated that her father had told her that he wants them to be together even if they split after he had passed away.

 

There is a bit of an age gap between us and aparently he was "not happy" at being told that we were seeing each other. This makes me think this is what is driving her away from me.

 

Im just waiting for the text or call to say we are through and its crippling me, it really is

Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.
That's the worse part of a break up is the limbo. That's why you should be very clear on the phone about her plan (she may have positive plans for the two of you in spite of her father). Be prepared the best you can and proceed according to her wishes. The quicker the call the quicker you are not in limbo. If she is not sure then move on eventually. You can't wait forever. Or call her first. Either way you are subject to her plans. If this is not to be, you have no choice but to find someone who can be with you with no strings attached.
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6886
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
psychlady
psychlady
Counselor
6886 Satisfied Customers
I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues