How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6884
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi my partner has moved 200 miles away to care for her mum

Resolved Question:

Hi my partner has moved 200 miles away to care for her mum after a big operation yesterday,she actually went 3 months ago due to her mums failing health so i have been visiting monthly when i get time off work.A month ago my partner took on a full time job which i didnt agree with because we have sold our large house and are renting until mum is sorted out so she has no money worries,yet took on a job that will leave her mum on her own for 8 hours a day,her choice but defeating the object of being there.I went down after xmas having taken holiday on her request to support her whilst mum in hospital,for her to inform me that despite telling me she would take a day off work on operation day,she hasnt even asked to do so.I was rather fed up by this as i felt that that was dishonest but i would stay and visit her mum whilst she was at work,but in future dont tell me one thing and do another just keep me informed of whats happening up front and not 2 days before in a sneaky way.she became furious and told me she was not for me and threw me out of the house leaving me to make my way home immediately.I know she is under stress from operation ect,but feel very hard done by.I dont want it to end like this and we have had a chat about mums op which was pleasant if awkward.I feel that i should leave it until the weekend and drive down to apologise about my timing as maybe i shouldnt have said anything during this tense time.If i,m dismissed again under a different atmosphere then obviously thats it,but am apprehensive to give it ago.should i wait for her to apologise to me which if she did would be the first time she would go back on her word.Prior to this she was telling family she was looking forward to coming home in april to restart our life together.It seems to me a massive jump just by me telling her how i feel,albeit at the wrong time.Any ideas please.Barry
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 3 years ago.

Taking care of a relative is very stressful especially when theyare very sick. You are right that this could be a difficult time. But don't wait for he to apologize. She may see you as hurtful and insensitive. So by all means call and sort this out. People act very erratic when they are under stress especially when facing too many responsbilities. Try to verbalize your position however so she knows that this was about her not keeping her word. If she is willing to listen, she will see things from your perspective too. She may at that time felt that you had caused her more stress when she was already stretched too thin.

 

If she is done, you will have to accept that. But she very likely felt unsupported as well. The only way to know is to make that call. There is always a chance that someone wants to end a relationship but you won't know that if you don't swallow our pride. Try to call, talk a lot, find a compromise, and go from there.

psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6884
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Ok thanks for that.Now i have thought of two strategies do i call her tonight or turn up unannounced at the weekend to talk in a sensitive way face to face?

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency