Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com! Maybe it would help to think of this as a difference in values instead of the particular beliefs regarding weed. Obviously she thinks it's a much bigger deal than you do, but at the end of the day it comes down to whether you want to respect the values of your girlfriend. She wants to be with someone who shares her belief or is at least willing to respect that value by avoiding drug use. There are many times when I think partners ask too much of each other and expect them to change to a degree that is unreasonable. It sounds like quitting isn't all that far from where you are now since you've cut back considerably. I would even go so far as to say that quitting would be good for you (for obvious reasons). In that sense she's making you a better person. I'm not saying it's easy, but making an effort to make this change would be worthwhile. I think you're right that saying you'll never do it again might be setting yourself up for failure. Instead, you could tell her that you recognize how important this is to her and because she's so important you want to try very hard to do what she asks. Tell her you'll be honest with her if there are times you slip -- quitting anything we've grown accustomed to is harder than we expect -- but that you do promise to give it your best effort. It truly sounds like you love this girl and want to make this relationship work. Perhaps part of the conversation you have with her should be about what you benefit from occasional use -- Are there substitutes the two of you can come up with that might meet the same needs? Making this something you work on together might make it seem less like something she's demanding of you and more like something the two of you are working on to strengthen your relationship.
Thank you for the response, my question for you now is that, alright lets say that I do just as we have discussed here and let her know that I am going to do my best but not make a complete promise that says "i will never do it again." What is my response if she wants no part of it, what if she says that she can only deal with me if it is gone forever. How do I respond to that? At what point do I realize that she may not be willing to comprimise at all. At what point do I draw the line when I am trying to respect her and make a big step for her and I. At what point do I realize that she works in a fashion of "my way or the highway." I would like to think that she has some respect for me too and try to understand why I do some of the things that I do.
Jennifer I have not accepted yet because I had asked another question that I would like to hear a response for. Thanks and look forward to hearing from you.