I've tried all these types of things. He's enjoyed them too. We've gone away for the weekend, gone out to a nice resturant for dinner, sat in for dinner, I've cooked, he's cooked. Sat in with a movie, or without a movie. Candlelit dinners, nights in front of the fire. etc.
He doesn't even have a fear of me going off with anyone else. I think in his heart of hearts, he knows that I didn't see us as being together and believes me when I tell him that if we were ever to get back together, I wouldn't do anything like this to hurt him. He has even accepted that he is partially responsible for my hurt and confusion that may have led to what happened. I think (looking back now) it may have been a way to prove to myself that I wasn't waiting around for him to decide whether he wanted me or not. He accepts that, but says that it doesn't help him. He pictures me and this guy together when we're being intimate. He wonders if I think of him when we're having sex and he just will no kiss me. I've suggested couples counselling and he said no, that it won't help.
Thanks. I thought doing what I was doing was all I could really do to help ease the situation. I just wanted an unbiased opinion as to what I've been doing or what, if anything I could do differently.
We're just both a bit weary as it feels like its been ongoing a lot longer than just from September as obviously we were in limbo before that from last March. Just don't want to be broken up a year before we actually break up. We'll be with eachother for three years next month and I suppose I just don't want to have to pass that landmark in a haze of confusion. Just have to be there for him when he's ready to let me. Any other tips though, anything else I could do would be greatly appreciated.