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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I work with a woman and there are obvious signs that she constantly

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I work with a woman and there are obvious signs that she constantly flirts and shows interest. She even brings her daughter around periodically for me to visit with. Then, at christmas she gave me a card with a picture of her daughter in it.

She usually is a very private person. Many people in the office tease about us? I want to know the level of importance of her enclosing that picture of her daughter and if she has stong interest in me, and may just be nervous or scared?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I am a little confused too. It's not like it was a picture of her where the message would have been a little clearer. I am afraid that the picture of child puts you in the friend zone. So you need to do some more digging. She may just be a nice person. I would offer some time together over coffee so it doesn't seem like a date. I would also caution that dating someone at work can be dangerous or just plain uncomfortable if it doesn't work out. If she accepts the little get together than she is at least offering her friendship. If you can approach the subject at that time it would give you more information either way. Find out if she has a boyfriend etc. If she doesn't then it really doesn't matter- she may be afraid of this blowing up so who cares what her thoughts are. There's nothing against be friends but don't push it if she really doesn't want to date somebody at work.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Let me be a little clearer on the history, She constantly plays with her hair around me, her necklace, and her pupils always get larger and sparkle. She always stairs at me, always smiles, jokes and makes periodic enuendo's. Every couple of weeks, she brings her daughter in just to visit me.

She has taken my daughter under her wing and tells me she loves both my girls. Recently, she blurted out to my daughter, what would be a good present for your dad, oh,, I mean a boss!..... Then, she goes out and gets my favorite candies which are already wrapped, and double wraps them, making them even more personal.

She is very private about her life and doesn't want her personal life known around the office, when she gave me a christmas card, and the overly "underlined" words about how "a great man I am, and how I have made a HUGE difference in her life. Then encloses a picture of her daughter, (yes it is not one of her, but it is personal) ...

She constantly prines when I come around, and constantly wants my attention to help on work. Others notice how she stares at me when I walk away!...

This has been going on for about 8 months. She broke up with her boyfriend about 3 months ago, which she had made very clear for the prior 3 months that she was pretty well done with the relationship to me and to others.

I asked her a couple of weeks ago if she had any personal feelings towards me, and she got all jumpy and nervous and immediately said no!,,, but her body language seemed different. I probably caught her off guard.

A couple of months ago,we were talking and she blurted out, "We will probably cross some boundaries, but we will deal with them when they happen!... that comment threw me for a loop. She is 12 years younger than I am.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You are right. That seems to be a come on. Those are very strong signals and treating your girls kindly could be a way to get to you. Go for it but keep in mind the complications that go with office romance. Try to take her to a neutral place (over coffee) and feel her out. Her letting you know about breakup seems to mean that she is giving you an invitation. Start slow
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