I am so very sorry to hear about your situation. Before I attempt to answer anything I would like for you to tell me exactly what is it that you are asking . What kind of help do you want. If you do this it will help me understand better what exactlyyou want help with.
I was editing my post when you answered my question. I'm trying to give you background information. It was letting me add on, I tried to copy and paste it (since I could not send it--you had replied). It says you are offline. I am going to hit reply. I edited for two hours (it was detailed. I lost everything past what you have. I also raised the price (or tried to) because it is a complex question. I don't want to write it out again if you are offline and there is not another expert available.
Hi, I am back online so let's continue with our chat.
I see you are not responding. I will check back again to see if you have entered anything and then will respond then.
Yes. I'm sorry about earlier
Oh, there you are,
I'm upset and shaking.
Tell me some more about that --- why?
I lost the rest of what I typed. Since I did that my parents upset me even more.
Okay Im looking to see where I left off and I'll try to be more concise.
That's very upsetting --- infuriating, indeed! But let's for now stay with what we have. Be concise by telling me briefly what is the question. Then whatever it is I don't understand, I'll ask more questions.
I had been in the hospital before for physical rehab for my MS--3 weeks
I'm sorry to hear that!
these are kind of connected. My family and my husband whom I love dearly, who is on the other side of the world, and who is not speaking to me
My sister wrote the e-mail to the neurologist who shouted to me that I needed to be in the psych ward and not waste their time.
After she found out my parents invited me here she called my cousin, a psychotherapist whom I have not seen in 15-20 years, and together they decided I was bipolar and had borderline personality disorder.
What's this about your sister?
My psychiatrist at the hospital, whom I asked to see, said I have neither
After four days my father told me I was not welcome here
I spoke to them each day and they said they were making arrangements for me to come here
a friend intervened and I'm here.
Why did your father say that?
Where is here?
I guess my sister told my parents that they would never see her again if I came back.
I was sent to boarding school at 12 and I'm quite different from my family.
Not in a bad way, my friends would not believe the way I'm treated here-subhuman
What's with your sister? Where does this come from? Do they not believe what happened to you about that guy hacking into your computer?
I pay rent, I stay out of the way
They know he did. He also created an e-mail address in Hotmail that sounded like my name.
He posted all kinds of weird things. He changed my password. I had an easy password. I'm so trusting.
I accept some of the blame there
So, I don't understand --- why is your family rejecting you? And what about your husband? What's he doing?
he wrote many people from that Hotmail address and from my e-mail addresses claiming to be me. They were hateful.
He wrote one to my husband
What did he write? briefly.
my husband, who was most upset, was the one who knew it was not my writing style
OMG he called my father a wimp and told him he needed to "man up" because my mother sort of has control
He told my mother all kinds of things because she drinks-a lot
My sister wrote me a brutal e-mail and he wrote one back without my knowing it
he posted things about my family on my Facebook page
My mother was quite abusive after my sister was born. I was four
Whose computer was he using? Yours or another one?
Mine, sometimes. He threatened to break it. He was huge--6'4"+ and at least 300 lbs.
otherwise I'm sure he used his own. He had two and knew how to get into my accounts.
Did he ever use another to write e-mails from you?
I could not get in myself.
yes--this continued after I left. MSN took care of that.
the "invented" Hotmail address.
and I called Toronto police just to get it on the record--but I could not go all the way up to file a complaint.
Yes, he used the invented Hotmail address but your computer or his?
He would sign on using his, sometimes I would wake up and find him using my computer--which is much faster.
In fact, I had to have my things shipped to me here and it turns out he stole memory from one of my two laptops because it was the same as his.
But now, you are not there --- in Toronto --- is he still sending e-mails and are they from his computer, not yours?
you asked about my family. The only thing they hold against me is multiple marriages to abusive men. My current (and I hope always) husband is not at all abusive.
No. MSN banned him (closed the account and his personal account). I dont know what would keep him from doing it but he does not bother me anymore
No I think I solved the e-mail problem. I was just amazed that it was my estranged husband (who was SO HURT when he saw my facebook page--apparently he really lost it).
it was he who noticed it was not my writing.
not my parents, not my sister.
they don't know me, they don't believe in me.
I really think that you must file a formal complaint with the police and you need to consult with a lawyer who knows about computer theft so that the lawyer will hire a computer expert who will prove that some of the e-mails were sent from a different ISP. Then you can show this to your family and to your husband so that they will believe that this was computer theft and that you didn't send any of these e-mails.
I am here waiting to go be with my husband (I hope--we had a problem and I am absolutely scared)
What are you scared about vis a vis your husband?
First, he has a company in Jordan. I can work from anywhere and help him out--I've done his Web page (and other things).
First, we were going to move to Saudi Arabia--he does business in Kuwait, Dubai, Oman, and Jordan
That is a nice centralized location.
So, tell me --- are things ok with you and your husband?
I accepted what was a generous teaching job offer in Riyadh
I don't know
If your parents and sister are not there is nothing you can do about that except show them proof through legal investigation that someone hacked into your computer.
I wasted two months because when they sent me the contract (I had to stay in the US for my visa) the terms were different. It was too late to get a job for fall semester and he had a huge order to fill in Oman--one distributor
What makes you not know about your husband?
He's still there
It may take a minute to explain.
BTW one week after I returned here my father handed me papers to which he accidentally clipped my sister's e-mails and all e-mails that went back and forth those days. I was shocked. I got out my letters of reference and my résumé and asked if they really even knew me. I'm still having trouble getting over this
I dont know about my husband right now because we had an argument two days ago. He is a predictable person. We decided to make it work. We believe in forgiveness and putting things behind us. We are great together. I used bad judgment in rooming with a crazy guy I didn't really know (that's what my sister reminds me of every time she sees me)
and he started seeing someone. (I did not do that).
I believe we can be stronger than ever
We've talked--he makes comments like: you say hurtful things to the people you love the most (it's true)--during times of anger
he said we will always work things out
and right now we trust each other--I don't trust my family anymore.
He trusts no one. He is stuck in Oman because his cousin squatted in our old apartment for several months and he had to pay the back rent--now he is having him arrested. He also took and sold our furniture.
It is an anniversary over there so everything is delayed. I lived there so I know the legal system, I know what has to happen. The court will not return his passport until this business is complete.
So he is stuck--it is out of his hands.
My father is supportive of my husband and me--and my sister and mother get very angry at him for that
they just want me out
Well, it seems that the two of you are committed to working it out. As for your family --- it's very easy to get the source of the e-mails checked and that could end that provided you go to a computer expert to discuss what to do.
My mother is sure my husband is going to hurt me.
but we had this argument and he will not speak to me--two days. He has NEVER done this. Not even "Happy new year.
I did something stupid.
Well I hope you can work it out. I wish you well!
It's difficult to be at this distance and he's staying w/ his brother who has no Internet. He has to go find a wireless connection or talk o
n the phone
I really need an opinion
I'll pay extra
I know this is involved.
An opinion about what?
What you should do?
okay. My husband promises to call
so I call him
and I'll wait 30 mins an call again
then I get frustrated and call more
and it makes him angry
I stopped doing that and it was going well.
So don't call.
Great! Don't call!
that is the sensible choice
This is what you do.
his phone was off for over a day. That is unlike him.
I got very concerned. People drive like maniacs there. I texted his brother and just asked him to give me a missed call if anything was wrong.
My husband called a bit later, very angry. I should not have texted his brother. I was worried. I thought I had the right. I am on the other side of the planet.
i have stopped the calling thing--or had
and we were doing great
but this anger, combined with my family telling me he's going to dump me etc.
just made me angry. I don't get angry often. I meditate and I'm very Zen.
Write him a letter explaining how you feel and that you want things to work out between you and that you love him. If he doesn't answer then then you really have your answer --- that is is moving away from you. There is not much more you can do except to say what if I come there and we talk things through in person so that we can work things out. There's not much more you can do than that. The next move is his.
I just said, "You are acting like an asshole."
I didn't call him one. I blurted that out before I realized it.
I have written him.
He was very hurt. He has never called me a name.
but I did point out to him that I did not call him one, I said he was acting like it--and I did not mean it.
He was angry at someone (his distributor) and was on the phone with me when he got bad news (it's sorted out)
He said horrible things to me. F you and everything. He hung up on me.
One hour later I got the sweetest letter of apology