You're not wasting your time if this is what you want to do at this stage in your life regardless of the outcome. No matter what you do, he can still decide what he wants for himself. There is nothing you ought to be doing differently to entice him to choose you. Be yourself and very clear about what you want out of a relationship. He may not be willing to settle from what you've describe 1/ he's been in other relationship while dating her, 2/he's dishonest to her while communicating with you 3/ he is trying to do what works for him regardless of the other person. If you want more out of a relationship than what he's capable of offering, then it would be a waste of time in that situation.