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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1675
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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This is a question about staying with my partner of 3 years,

Customer Question

This is a question about staying with my partner of 3 years, or moving on becuase I think I can maybe do better...............................Basically I am happy with my boyfriend, we have had our ups and downs like every couple, but there is one thing that is always nagging at me........He was born with a disfigurement, one of his arms is twisted and shorter than the other, and his hand is smaller than the other, only having 2 fingers and not 4. He has lived with this and belive it or not he is great at hiding it, when we started dating I didn't even notice for 6 weeks! By the time I did notice I thought he was Mr perfect and had fallen for him. However little things recently are niggling at me, like when we go on holiday he won't go out of his comfortzone and go topless etc etc it just seems to hold him/us back a bit, and I know I worry what people think....When we meet new people, or go out for meals I am always on edge thinking have people noticed it. I know it sounds totally shallow of me, and belive me it shouldn't matter, but it obviously does, sometimes I just get on with it and accept it but just lately I have been thinking about it more and more, as he has also started being less attractive to me. I sort of feel like I can do better one minute, but then realise that he is such a great guy, he treats me like a princess and would do anything for me, surely this should be enough to make me happy? And surely eveyone has their inperfections, wether they be visible or not, I know I have!!!!
Just sooo confused, what would you do?
Am I just a shallow cow?
Basically my situation is, do I move on and start again looking for my mr right, or stay, if I stay will this niggle at me forever?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Walt-mod replied 5 years ago.
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