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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Saturday I broke with my bf, because he refused to give me

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Saturday I broke with my bf, because he refused to give me my space like I asked. i am 5 months pregant, and he is completly codependent on me and his mother. We were living together but I put him out about 2 weeks ago becuase I told he he needs to grow up and become more independent..He has a $2,000 ticket he needs to pay to restablish his driver's license, he is behind over $2500 over child support, and I also found out he has been married for over twenty years and never gotten a divorce. I tried to just take some time away from thinking that would help. i do care about him but why do I feel so bad about how things happen?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

Your guilt is a natural response to the situation. You care about him and are emotionally involved. But, what you did makes sense given the issues you've described from refusal to honor your space, lying about past marriage and inability to support you.

 

You're pregnant and a part of the guilt may revolve around you worrying about the child's future w/o a stable father figure. What you feel is a response to your internal dialog (what you think and what you believe) You feel bad about this happening because it is quite stressful and disappointing situation. There may be pent up hopelessness if you're realizing that he can't or is not willing to do certain things that you need/expect of him.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thanks,

 

I am trying to give him the benrfit of doubt. I told him if could get his self together I might take him which includes getting a full time job, a divorce and taking care of his tickets. I guess I said this more to ease my conscious and his. Do you think this is actually workable I did not give a time frame which I probably should. Honestly, I dont plan on puting my life on hold except for now because I am pregnant. What do you think?

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

It is workable only if he is willing to work on himself and takes the initiative.

 

You are giving him a chance and he can decide what to do about it. If he does not improve, then at least you've been fair and let him know what your expectations of a partner are. Don't put your life on hold for others. If you do, do it for yourself.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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