Thank you for your consult. If you don't mind: one more round of follow-up. I originally forgot to mention that her current anxiety/frustration is because she is no longer getting results from her current diet/workout regime. It is obvious that all of this needs to change (a la the definition of insanity is expecting different results from doing the same thing.) The information on peri-menopause is very helpful and not top-of-mind for me, as our birthdays mentally stopped at 39 1/2. Here's the last part of my question which wasn't really addressed (my fault for not setting it up): although she has been relatively open with her aforementioned "issues," it has been made apparent to me that I need to listen and be supportive versus actively offering advice or suggestions. Otherwise, she will get hyper focused on the fact that I am "noticing" and/or thinking that I have an adverse physical perception of her. Thus, I am relatively clueless how to guide her without hurting her feelings and creating a larger and longer-term problem than already exists: especially because I still lover her dealy and my physical attraction waning is zero. Thanks in advance, and this will be my last submission. You have been very helpful!
Hi, As we age and our metabolism slows (which it does unfortunately) we won't get the same results from our workout's or dietary habits. If you both mentally stop at 39 1/2 she may feel she is aging and you're not (not rational but valid) and therefore you may not desire her anymore. You are right, she doesn't want you to solve her problems or make suggestions, she wants you to just listen . How do you guide her without causing her more angst? First suggest that it may be something a physician should explore (thyroid) and then hopefully she will start looking for some help. If you both were able to give up the idea that your bodies will always be 39 ish and accept the entire process in a positive way you may see her feel better about herself. Let her know that you are experiencing this with her, then let it go. Humor is a wonderful remedy and if you can both see the humor in the process it wold be easier. Tell her you are willing to go to marriage counseling if she is open to it, when she is open to it.because you love each other and have a great marriage. Tough time for women in general but really tough if you are not willing to accept that we age and our focus should be to live in the present, be happy we opens our eyes everyday and is able to be an active participant in life, no matter what.
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