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Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
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For the 2nd time in two weeks, my girlfriend, who is a flight

Customer Question

For the 2nd time in two weeks, my girlfriend, who is a flight attendant, when she meets pilots or other colleagues at Delta, just turns her back to me, hugs the men she hasn't seen, fixes their ties, touches them on the sleeves and acts as if I don't event exist. This goes on for 10 minutes or so, until she runs into the next person she knows and it just continues to go until I walked away last night and said that I thought that her behavoir was disrespectful to me. She simply says, she disagrees. Doesn't want to talk about it and clams up. Then later tries to act nice about it all, and sends me a text on my Blackberry telling me before her plane takes off to look up possessiveness in the Bible today and check that out....and by the way...please don't push me away. I called her today and said I am not going to text her about this subject but will talk to her in person when I get back to Grand Rapids tomorrow night on our date night. (she has had a number of affairs with pilots over the last few years...which really scares me when I see she continues to act so friendly to them when she sees them wherever! I truly love her, but not paying attention to these "boundaries" that Henry Cloud and John Townsend talk about in their books which I have read, really makes me wonder what I can do to get her on the same page....when she just simply thinks it is a difference of "opinion!" What sould I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 5 years ago.

Hi JA customer and thanks for writing.


You know I am with you on this and I think your girlfriend is behaving badly. If she is in a committed relationship with you she should behave as if she is and not send other messages to her co workers.


You are not behaving possessively she is simply ill mannered or not aware of the social skills necessary to sustain an intimate relationship. If she is that unskilled that she does not know that her behaviors are inappropriate and she redirects the blame onto you? What kind of a future do you expect with this woman?


I KNOW you can do better. There are plenty of beautiful, intelligent, stimulating young women out there who know how to conduct themselves when they have a boyfriend and you can find one and be much happier than you can ever possibly be with this woman.

She sounds very dim to me.

Look elsewhere and be happy.

Warm regards,


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