Hi JA customer and thank you for writing.
Wow, that is some story. I am sorry you are being so abused right now but you are. I think you DID NOT OVEREACT one bit and you are to be applauded in fact for your self restraint.
If you are in a serious relationship with someone and they possess such poor social skills and such poor insight that they were not aware that the appropriate and committed thing to do was to wait for you and take a cab to the hotel together or to apprise you he would be taking another cab and meet you at the hotel or any other of a thousand options I would say you are involved with one very limited human being who is never going to change and is never going to give any woman what she needs in a relationship. There is something seriously amiss with this guy.
I do not think you screwed up in the least. I think he is screwy. Let him go. Go out and meet someone with adult manners and social skills and stop blaming yourself for others bad behavior. If you need some help see a therapist for a few weeks or months so that you can better discern when someone else is misbehaving. I think you would be an ideal candidate for therapy and gain a lot. It would be great if you would not have a pattern of becoming involved people who are so limited.
Let me know if I can help you further on this?
Warm regards, Cathy