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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Dear Just Answer Having found out 5 weeks ago that my wife

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Dear Just Answer

Having found out 5 weeks ago that my wife had a one night stand 3 years ago, I am understanding the reasons behind it and are coming to terms with it. We have had two fantastic years and want this to continue and have realised this by obtaining marriage counselling.

The one area I am struggling to deal with is to be blunt is getting the so called 'sexual act' she had with this man out of my mind. She has explained it was simply sex, nothing more and she did not carry out foreplay or even kissed him. However, the thoughts of her being with another man is really destroying my head and I know if I do not deal with this, the great potential future I have with her will be destroyed. I look forward to your advice and potential tips for dealing with this.



What is usually helpful in situations like this is not to try and block the irrational thoughts but rather to engage in re framing your internal dialog to think about something else (does not have to be related to the incident)


There are self help tools such as hypnosis CD, autogenic training, bibliotherapy or working with a counselor specializing in CBT/cognitive behavior therapy or a hypnotherapist specializing in NLP/neurolinguistic programming.


When you start thinking about the incident, immediately shift the thoughts to something else. Do not attempt to force yourself to halt thinking about it, simply observe the thoughts, accept the fact that you've allowed yourself to think about it and then focus on something else whether thought or action/doing something. You can start reprograming your brain (attached is the info on autogenic training you can practice yourself)


Change Your Thoughts Meditation CD: Do the Tao Now! by Wayne W. Dyer (Audio CD - Nov 20, 2007) - Audiobook

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