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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Hi..I just started dating a wonderful man, We have had two

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Hi..I just started dating a wonderful man, We have had two dates within 3 weeks..What's the best way to let him know I want to spend more time with him without being pushy. He is 57 I am 51.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

It is ok to let him know that you enjoy spending time with him. You may want to let him set the pace of how things are to proceed. See what vibe you get from him- is he fearful of commitment and intimacy early in the dating, is he only seeking companionship versus having a partner, what his outlook may be of what the two of you are sharing at the moment, etc.

 

He is the one to interpret your actions as pushy or not depending on what he is seeking at the moment. You would seem pushy only if you re the only one initiating the dates/conversations, calling/texting repetitive, being overly upset if he can not go out, and so on. Meanwhile, try to find out what are some things that the two of you have in common as far as interests are concerned and pursue engaging in some of these during the week. You can always let him know what your availability is and that you're there to talk on the phone if that is what he may be up to.

 

Two date in 3 weeks is not too many and you'd want to see what may be preventing him of going out more (schedule, obligations, money problems, fear, etc) No matter how fast you want to move, it all comes back to him setting his own pace.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I don't want to play cat and mouse games with him.....but his lack of response....tells me that he isn't ready to make getting to know me a priority...and that's what i am looking for....so he's probably going to be a "good friend" instead of boyfriend

 

Thanks very muchLaughing

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.
Whatever works for you. You're right, no point of expecting something from him when he's not ready to offer it or he's not capable to do so.
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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