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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I lied about being divorced, and my boyfriend wont forgive

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I lied about being divorced, and my boyfriend won't forgive me. I was separated for 2 years with no contact from my ex-, when I started dating my boyfriend. He was the first and only person I dated while I was separated. It's been 5 months since he found out (my divorce was final 2 weeks after he found out), and he won't forgive me. Should I walk away? I love this man.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 5 years ago.



If he is unable to move on and to respect you, then it would make sense that you'd walk away. You've already given him a chance and he's stuck in the past. It would be unhealthy to go after someone who can not either forgive you or stop calling you names and disrespecting you and abusing you verbally. Perhaps this experience is a clue as to how he is even though at times he's trying to act better towards you. If he is not emotionally mature to accept your mistake and deal with it, you won't be able to change him or his behavior. What you've done is in the past. You've got to live in the present and he's not willing to do it. Despite the fact that you love him, you can not sustain the relationship on your own. The guilt you're experiencing would have to be dealt with. You've made a mistake and he's punishing you every day for it after the incident is over.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
He says the most hurtful thing is that I lied, and I continued to lie about it. The fact that I never told him the truth, and he had to find out on his own is the reason he can never forgive me. Is that reasonable? I've never caused a break-up before, so I don't know if his feelings and reasons are valid. All I know, is that I feel helpless to the pain I've caused him.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 5 years ago.
He can forgive you if he decides to do so. Forgiving is hard and he may think he'd be taken for a fool, but he's not giving you a chance to prove yourself. It may be his excuse of not taking the relationship to the next level and has nothing to do with you.
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