Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.
I am sorry to hear about the problems you have had with relationships. Remember that there is a difference between having a temper and being abusive. Someone can be angry but not attack the other person verbally, emotionally or physically. Expressing anger in a safe and respectful way is different than using the anger against the other person or taking it out on them. Going very slowly in the beginning of a relationship and giving yourself time before you get attached is important to allow you to see the warning signs of controlling or abusive behavior. It is common for abuse victims to seek out older partners, since we typically recreate situations where we can continue to play out our issues in one way or another until we work through them. Older partners tend to have more power and control in a relationship due to their age advantage and abuse is all about control. You may not be seeking a new father, but may be replaying your position of not having power in relationships. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.